


New Boy

by Badassium1970



Category: Game Grumps, Super Mega
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-10-20 14:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badassium1970/pseuds/Badassium1970
Summary: Barry's had a crush on Ross for a while, he even took art class because of him. He's happy to just sit by and dream until Ross show's interest in the new boy, Matt.





	1. Chapter 1

Barry was seriously struggling. Art class was always trouble for him and he wondered why he decided to take it. So much money that had most likely gone down the drain considering he didn’t want any career in art.

As he struggled to draw the image that was in his head, instead focusing on his best friend Ross, who was sitting beside him already hard at work.

Ross. Ross was the reason Barry had taken this subject. He was afraid of losing his best friend and applied for the course without thinking. Well, he was thinking, but he was thinking about how blue Ross’ eyes were and how cute he looked when he bit his lip while concentrating.

Barry had it bad for Ross, ever since Ross moved into his neighbourhood. Ross was a couple years older but the art class at the college was mixed ages due to scheduling and lack of funding for the arts. At first Barry was pretty intimidated considering the majority of people in this class were older than him but he’d made some other friends and no one seemed to notice nor care that he wasn’t as good at art as them. One guy, Arin even offered to help him every now and again, but he wasn’t in class today. He was probably still talking to his boyfriend, Danny, Barry had seen them together before class. It would be a miracle if Arin even showed up at all. The pair were so cute, Barry could only dream of having a relationship like theirs.

The sound of the door opening and then closing broke Barry from his thoughts. A sheepish looking Arin walked in, followed by their teacher and someone else whom Barry had never seen before.

Arin sat down with Barry and Ross who smiled at him, knowing he had most likely been caught trying to skip class. Before they could say anything though their teacher cleared her throat, getting the attention of any class members who weren’t paying attention to her.

“Class, we have a new student joining us today. Mr. Hanson I trust you can show Matt around the art block and answer any questions he might have.”

Arin nodded, guessing that this was his punishment.

“Good, I trust you all know what you are doing. I’ll just let you get on, but I’m here if you need anything.”

That was something Barry liked about art class. His teacher rarely bothered him so he could work slowly in class and make up time later, getting help from Arin and Ross. Sure, he could ask her but he found his teacher kind of intimidating.

Matt sat next to Arin, he looked nervous as he pulled his books out of his bag. Barry wanted to say something, knowing what it was like being in a new class, especially art class were everyone seems to be working on master pieces and the walls are covered in amazing art. However, Barry wasn’t good at initiating conversations and instead waited for someone to speak first.

“Hey man, that’s fucking rad,” Ross admired the drawing Matt had started to work on. Barry personally felt that it looked like it was finished, but knew not to say anything. Instead he nodded, smiling kindly at Matt.

“Thanks, but I don’t think the proportions are quite right. I think I might start over.”

“Who is it of?” Arin questioned, looking over the drawing.

“Oh um, my friend Ryan. He hates when I draw him but I needed someone to help me with facial features, and it’s just fun to annoy him.” Matt smiled shyly, unlocking his phone to pull up a reference of Ryan.

“So is he like your boyfriend?” Arin asked, and Barry shook his head. Of course, Arin would just jump into questions like that with someone he barely knew.

“No, well, we were sort of a thing or whatever a while ago but it didn’t work out. We live together though, it was easier than getting a spot on campus considering it’s the middle of the school year.” Matt shrugged as he began a new drawing. Barry watched as Matt struggled slightly, but soon got on. It made him slightly jealous, but he was used to that feeling when it came to art.

“Were did you move from?” Barry asked Matt, mentally patting himself on the back for actually getting involved in the conversation instead of just nodding along every now and again.

“South Carolina, been out here for a couple of weeks. I was meant to start here sooner but there was some problem with the system or whatever, but other than that this place seems better than my last school.”

The conversation seemed to flow pretty easily from there and it felt like hardly any time had passed when the bell for lunch rang, scaring Matt, causing him to drop his pencil.

“Don’t worry, you get used to that,” Ross chuckled, bending over to pick up Matt’s pencil, and Barry swore Ross was making a show of it like some teenaged girl in some trashy chick flick.

“And if not, well I’m good at bending over,” Ross teased as he handed Matt his pencil. Matt blushed, fumbling to but his pencil away.

“Thanks.” Matt laughed, looking a little timid.

“Don’t worry about him Matt, that’s just his sense of humour. I’d say you get used to it but most of the time you’ll just find yourself telling him to shut up.” Barry said, trying to keep the jealousy out of him tone.

Ross glared at Barry and elbowed him, half-jokingly, making Barry drop his belongings. Barry pretended it didn’t hurt, both physically and emotionally and when to pick up his things, mentally cursing himself for not realising his pencil case was still open.

“You guys go ahead or we won’t get a table. We’ll catch up.” Ross urged Arin and Matt. Barry could tell he was looking at Matt’s ass as they left.

“Barry what was that?” Ross whined and Barry was glad that Ross didn’t seem to actually be angry with him.

“What was what?” Barry replied as he finished repacking his stuff, feigning innocence.

“I just, look Matt is really cute and did you see his art work, it was amazing! I don’t want him to think I’m an asshole okay? I want to make a good impression. Can you help me out with that, please?” Ross was looking at Barry with wide eyes and it made his heart hurt. On one hand, he wanted Ross to himself, but on the other he knew he’d never have made a move on Ross, and it’s obvious now that his feelings aren’t returned. Barry knew what the right thing to do was, and it hurt but he wanted to be a good friend.

“Alright,” Barry smiled weakly, but Ross didn’t seem to notice his discomfort.

“Thanks man. We should get to lunch or all the good shit will be gone.” Ross grabbed Barry by the wrist, practically pulling him out of the art department. It was obvious he was eager to see Matt again.

‘This is going to be a long lunch,’ Barry thought to himself hating that he always had to do the right thing.


	2. Chapter 2

As they reached the lunch hall Ross eventually let go of Barry’s wrist and slowed down so he didn’t look so eager. When Barry made his way to the groups usual table he wished that he hadn’t taken so much time getting his lunch.

Matt was sitting in Barry's usual seat next to Ross. Of course, he wasn’t mad about it, but he did get slightly jealous. No one else seemed to mind; maybe they hadn’t even noticed. Arin just said a quick hello to him before going back to talking to Matt.

Barry felt more than just a little bit awkward. Everyone seemed to engrossed in what they were doing and he didn’t want to be rude and butt in. Brian was trying to convince Dan that a song title he’d come up with was not stupid but in fact the most amazing song title in the world and it would not be impossible to come up lyrics. Vernon was nervously asking Suzy about modelling, and Jack was filling in blanks when Vernon got too shy.

Holly wasn’t really paying any attention to what was going on, not to be rude but because she was studying. She was one of the only people studying medieval history, and the school kept threatening to cut the subject. Holly begged them not to cancel, and they said that as long as no one failed, it was less likely that the subject would be cancelled. Barry was honestly surprised she was even there. Most of the time she was at her study group with Jared and Heidi.

Barry just sat and ate his lacklustre, overpriced sandwich and tried to ignore the fact that Ross was flirting with Matt, and not being subtle about it at all.

“Hey, Barry… Barry?”

Suddenly Barry was snapped from the inner peace he had created by Matt talking to him.

“Sorry, guess I spaced out,” he shrugged, blushing slightly when everyone looked at him, even Holly had looked up from her work, noticing his somewhat bitter tone. Barry couldn’t help being just a little salty that his best friend seemed to have forgotten about his existence, and although he knew he shouldn’t take it out on Matt it just happened.

“Yeah, I noticed. I was just wondering if anyone wanted to come over to my place?”

Arin and Dan politely declined, stating that they already had a date planned, Holly had her study group, Suzy had a club meeting.

“Oh yeah the cult thing,” Ross smiled at Suzy, taking pleasure in the fact that she was glaring at him. Matt on the other hand looked confused, and a little scared.

“It’s not a cult, they study occult stuff, spirits, demons, that sort of thing.” Barry explained, realising that the club really did sound like a cult, but he had gone a few times and some of the nicest people were there. That’s actually where Suzy met Holly, who used to go before the pressure of stopping an entire subject getting cancelled took over her life.

“You can come to the meeting next week if you’d like, no one would mind,” Suzy offered with a warm smile.

“Yeah, you just gotta sacrifice some blood,” Ross cackled.

“Ignore him, we all do. It’s honestly not like that.” Suzy exclaimed exasperated.

“I’ll think about it, I think I’m gonna try and settle in here before thinking about any extracurricular activities,” Matt explained, and Suzy seemed happy with that answer, although Barry figured it was a polite decline.

“Sorry but were not going to be able to go either, I’m helping Jack with his film project.”

“Yeah, Vernon’s my star!”

Vernon turned bright red at that statement and everyone wondered what being Jack’s star normally entailed.

“Brian?” Matt questioned.

“I’m tutoring tonight, sorry.”

Matt shrugged, it was last minute so he didn’t expect many people would be able to make it.

“I’m game, I’m sure we’ll have fun tonight,” Ross smirked. Matt laughed but was definitely unsure whether he was joking or not.

“Uhh, sure Ross. So Barry, are you free?”

From behind Matt Ross was giving Barry a pleading look, telling him to say he had plans. Normally Barry would do as Ross wanted, but the idea of Ross and Matt alone made him sick to his stomach.

“I have an assignment, but I’m sure I’ll get it done in time. Sure, why not.”

Barry knew it was wrong. Ross clearly wanted to spend some more time alone with Matt and possible make a move, and Barry also knew that some of the others probably would have ditched their plans if it weren’t for Ross’ obvious desire. It could have been argued that Barry was doing the right thing, as he knew what Ross could be like when it came to relationships, and the fact that he and Matt barely knew each other. Of course, the selfish motives were still there, but Barry could use the other reasons later when he was questioned, and questioned he was.

When he returned from his computer programming class Ross was already waiting for him in their shared room, glaring at Barry as soon as he entered.

“I thought you said you were going to help me!” He was trying to sound angry, but it just came off as whiny.

“I am,” Barry replied.

“How? It’s just gonna be awkward if I’m flirting with Matt and your there.”

Barry ignored that statement, even if it hurt.

“Matt has a roommate, right? So, I’ll make sure he stays out of the way while you do whatever with Matt.” Barry tried not to think too hard about Ross was going to do. He didn’t need nor want to know, but he would probably would knowing Ross.

“Barry, what do you think I’m gonna try and do with Matt?”

Barry gave him a look, questioning if he was really asking that.

“Okay, I know sometimes I’m a bit... liberal as to who’s bed I fall into and when, but there’s something about Matt that’s different, I can actually see myself with him. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit of a cunt. I appreciate the fact that you’re helping me out Barry. You’re a great friend.”

Barry gave Ross a weak smile. Yeah, a great friend, that was all he was.


	3. Chapter 3

Matt drove Ross and Barry to his apartment. Ross had called shotgun, acting as if it was a joke but Barry knew it wasn’t. He was pretty sure Matt knew as well judging from how uncomfortable he seemed to be. Barry felt sorry for Matt, but at the same time he pitied Ross. He knew that Ross wasn’t intending to come off as creepy, he just wasn’t great at flirting with people he was actually attracted to. Barry frowned at that thought, as it reminded him again that Ross had never and probably would never be interested in him.

The ride wasn’t too long, only around ten minutes, but it felt a lot longer for Barry as he listened to Ross ramble on about the cartoon he was working on to Matt, who seemed interested. He had definitely calmed down and was more comfortable now that Ross wasn’t constantly making passes at him. Barry smiled sadly. He wanted to be happy for Ross and wanted Ross to be happy, but it also hurt.

When they got to the apartment complex Barry was a little surprised that it was in one of the nicer areas. Since he would barely be able to afford an apartment in one of the shittier neighbourhoods he couldn’t imagine that anyone else his age would be able to.

Matt lived on the top floor, he told them that it was cheaper and that’s how he and Ryan could afford to live in a nicer place.

“The fact that Ryan works two jobs and has applied for a third helps too,” Matt sighed, looking a little sad, but neither Barry or Ross questioned it, not wanted to get into anything too personal.

“At least there’s an elevator,” Matt shrugged, pushing the button to open the lift, not thinking much of it. Barry on the other hand looked at Ross, who’s fists had clenched and he was considerably paler. Ross had a massive phobia of elevators, which wasn’t great since their art class was one the third floor of the campus building, but Barry was always willing to walk with him, even if he knew they would be late. Barry thought about bringing it up now, but he didn’t want to risk embarrassing Ross in front of Matt. Sure he was jealous, but he wasn’t cruel.

Ross stepped into the elevator. Normally if he had to use one he would hold on to the bar as tight as he could but this one didn’t have one. Just his luck. Barry made sure that he and Ross were stood behind Matt, and then took Ross’ hand in his. Ross looked up at Barry, giving him a grateful smile. When the elevator started Ross’ grip on Barry’s hand was like a vice and Barry had to bite his tongue so he didn’t let out any noises of pain. He was surprised at how strong Ross was. After a few seconds his grip loosened.

When they reached the top Ross let go of Barry’s hand, and Barry found that he missed the feeling.

“Thank you,” Ross whispered before he sped up his pace to walk in line with Matt. Barry couldn’t help but frown. He knew that Ross would only ever be a friend, and he didn’t know why he still let himself hope it would ever be any different.

Matt fumbled with his keys, cursing why he had so many and why they all seemed to look the same. When he finally found the right one the door was opened, by who Ross and Barry guessed was Ryan.

“Y’know if you got rid of all those keys you don’t need it wouldn’t take you an hour to open the door,” Ryan pointed out, he sounded mad, but the smile on his face said otherwise.

“They might come in useful,” Matt shrugged.

“Those are the words of someone who will become a hoarder one day.” Ryan laughed before inviting everyone inside. Barry enjoyed listening to their friendly banter, it reminded him of Arin and Dan.

Barry and Ross both introduced themselves, and they quickly fell into a comfortable conversation. Barry could tell that Ryan seemed to like to mother Matt, even if he was using a joking tone when he asked Matt about his day it was clear that he was genuinely concerned and cared.

“Yeah, it was pretty good, I only had a couple classes today so I don’t know for sure but the teachers seem alright, they let me just get on with things.” Matt’s face was slightly pinker than usual, clearly slightly embarrassed by Ryan acting like a parent, which only fuelled the fire.

“Yeah, that’s good, so you make any friends?” Ryan asked in a more feminine tone.

“Obviously mom,” Matt rolled his eyes which made Ross and Barry chuckle causing Matt to glare at them.

“Anyway, yes, most of them were busy tonight. Probably a good thing, I doubt we’d all fit in here.”

“Well look at you Mr. Popular!” Ryan teased, ruffling Matt’s hair.

“Okay, okay, enough with the mom act, I’m gonna go get a drink, anyone want anything?”

Ryan and Ross both shook their head.

“Um, some water, if that’s okay?” Barry asked, nervous. He normally didn’t like asking for anything when he’s at someone else’s place, but it was a hot day, and he had meant to get a bottle of water or something before he left but had forgotten due to his small disagreement with Ross.

“Of course Bear,” Matt smiled kindly at Barry, and Barry smiled back, feeling slightly calmer, until he noticed that the look on Ryan’s face was not as friendly as before.

When Matt came back with two bottles of water he passed on to Barry before suggesting they play some video games since he and Ryan finally got that all sorted out and hadn’t had much of a chance to play anything yet. Everyone agreed and they settled on starting out with some Mario Kart.

“You want to lose your friends right after you’ve made them?”

“Not everyone is as competitive as you,” Matt retorted, sticking his tongue out at Ryan and Barry swore he could hear the dirty thoughts Ross was having about all he places he wanted Matt’s tongue to be.

“I was referencing how bad you were at Mario Kart actually.”

After a bit more smack talk, mainly between Matt and Ryan the four started playing. The couch was only really big enough for three people to sit on comfortably, so Barry sat on the floor despite Matt’s protest of Barry being a guest. Ross sat next between Matt and Ryan, and Barry couldn’t help but notice that Ryan was giving Ross a similar look that he’d given him not long ago. It made Barry feel nervous, and he wondered if Ryan didn’t like them, but after a few rounds of playing he seemed to loosen up again.

Like Matt had said Ryan was pretty competitive although Ross seemed to be a good rival, at least on most days he would be, but today he seemed to be on better behaviour. Barry rolled his eyes at the idea of Ross acting differently in an attempt to impress Matt, especially since it was cute when he got competitive, letting out cute noises of frustration as his face went red. Sometimes he would continue to run his hands through his hair and Barry loved how it looked sticking up all over the place, Barry was embarrassed to admit that it had made him think some pretty dirty thoughts.

A blue shell hitting him snapped Barry out from his thoughts, and he continued playing, as Ryan shouted that he was going to win this time, only to be hit by a blue shell that Matt had been keeping. Ryan wasn’t wrong when he said Matt wasn’t that good at Mario Kart.

The blue shell hit Ryan seconds before he could cross the finish line, allowing Barry to sweep past him and secure the win and Ryan came second place for the fourth time in a row.

“Matt, you’re an asshole!” Ryan glared at his friend.

“I was just protecting Barry’s lead,” Matt stated, leaning down to pet Barry’s hair. Ross watched with a jealous look on his face but Barry couldn’t help but let himself enjoy it, it wasn’t like it meant anything, but he knew Ross would probably comment on it when they got back to college.

A couple of hours passed before Barry realised that it was getting late and they should probably head back. Ryan offered to drive them since he had work soon anyway. Barry and Ryan made their way outside while Matt helped Ross find his jacket, which he claimed his had lost, but Barry saw him sneakily hid it behind the couch. Barry was nervous about being alone with Ryan, unable to forget the look Ryan had given him earlier. He tried to make light conversation, but Ryan soon cut him off.

“Look, I’m just gonna be straight with you. I know that Ross has a thing for Matt, and that you have a thing for Ross judging by the way you look at him.”

Barry felt himself blush and was unable to deny it.

“And I can tell that Matt likes you, and I need you to promise me that you won’t hurt him, or let Ross hurt him.” Ryan’s voice was stern, but Barry could hear the underlying worried tone. He found it hard to believe that Matt liked him, they had only known each other for a day, and although Ross seemed to fall for people just like that he doubted many other people were like that.

“I promise, but I don’t think Matt has a thing for me.”

“Barry, he’s been my best friend for years, we dated for almost a year, I can tell when he had a crush on someone.”

Before Barry could reply Ross and Matt walked out of the apartment complex, Ross looked like he was going to throw up and Barry felt guilty that he hadn’t waited. He’d momentarily forgotten about Ross’ phobia. When they ended up sitting in the back of Ryan’s car together Barry mouthed an apology but Ross didn’t respond with anything but a glare. He barely said anything for the entire ride, and Barry felt guilty every time Matt spoke to him.

When they got back to their apartment Ross said he was going to bed straight away, Barry tried to apologies again, even though he was starting to believe that he had truly done nothing wrong. Shaking his head he got changed and also decided to retire. This whole situation was tiring.


	4. Chapter 4

For the rest of the week Ross seemed to avoid Barry as much as possible and rarely spoke to him, and he started treating Matt the same way, giving blunt answers whenever Matt asked him a question, and the flirting had stopped, maybe that should have been seen as a good thing, but it wasn’t. At first Barry tried to get Ross to talk to him, trying to make it up to him, but then gave up, knowing that Ross was being childish and would probably get over it soon.

Instead Barry’s attention turned to Matt and what Ryan said. He still denied that Ryan was right to begin with, but then he noticed things that he hadn’t before. It was strange that he hadn’t noticed before since Barry was normally the kind of person who picked up everything, but he guessed that jealousy clouded his vision.

Matt had started to grow a bit more comfortable with everyone, starting conversations instead of just being part of them. He had a similar sense of humour to the rest of the group, although he was slightly more on the obscene side sometimes, not that anyone seemed to mind. Dan complemented him on how funny he was a lot.

“What about me Dan?” Arin asked in a mock angry tone.

“You’ll always be the funniest to me baby girl,” Dan smiled, giving Arin a small, shy kiss while Vernon jokingly booed.

Barry also noticed how often Matt spoke to him, more than he spoke to the others, and Barry would often catch Matt looking at him, turning his head quickly if he saw Barry had noticed.

Barry felt bad that he didn’t have feelings for Matt, but even after thinking that he soon became unsure.

At first, Barry tried not to get too close to Matt, not wanting to risk leading him on, or hurting Ross. He didn’t want to lose two of his friends, but it couldn’t be helped. Barry found it easier to slip into conversation with Matt, everyone else in their group had someone they felt closest to, Dan had Arin, Vernon had Jack and Suzy and Brian switched between Holly and Dan depending on what the other was doing. It wasn’t that they didn’t all talk to each other, it was just that due to different classes and preferred activities they fell into smaller groups at times. Barry had Ross, but he’d always be thinking too hard, trying not to let his crush show, second guessing everything he was going to say in case he ended up sounding like an idiot. Maybe he should have been second guessing what he said to Matt, so nothing could be taken the wrong way, but Barry felt more comfortable around Matt, they had a lot in common so the conversation flowed a lot better than when Ross would talk to Barry about animation and Barry had no clue what he was on about, or when Ross spoke about that cute girl over there or that hot guy, making Barry jealous.

Barry did still feel a stinging sensation when he saw the glares Ross gave them, or when Ross flat out ignored him when they were in their dorm room. It hurt that Ross would treat him that way, and would assume that Barry was going to go after Matt without even talking to Ross first. It didn’t just hurt, but it made him angry. Barry wasn’t the kind of person to get angry, but Ross was drawing it out of him.

It was Friday and Matt asked if he and Ross would like to come over again on Sunday, as Ryan didn’t work then, some of the others had agreed to go over as well, so Barry agreed, hoping that this time it wouldn’t be as awkward, since other people would be there, but Ross decided to make a snarky comment about not being needed if Barry was going to be there, and then practically stormed off.

Matt was confused and upset. Barry could see it in his eyes. It was clear that Matt wasn’t clear that Ross genuinely had feelings for him, and wasn’t jokingly flirting like Arin did a lot of the time, saying things that made Matt, and many other people, blush, and Dan would tell him off in-between laughs.

“Did I do something wrong?” Matt asked, sounding defeated. Barry felt bad for him, knowing that it was all Ross’ fault, he was the one acting like a child. He didn’t understand why Ross couldn’t just be mature, Barry always tried to act civil towards Ross’ crushes despite his jealousy, and the only real incident was on Matt’s first day which Barry did regret.

“No Matt, it’s not your fault.”

“Then why has Ross been so off with me lately? He was fine on the first day… Is it because I didn’t react well to his jokes? I was just nervous, he would understand that, right?” Matt rambled, trying to think of what he could have possibly done to upset Ross.

Barry have Matt’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, and Matt stopped talking.

“Matt, calm down. You haven’t done anything wrong, don’t worry about it.” Barry gave Matt a reassuring smile, but Matt was still concerned.

“I… I just don’t want to fuck up, Ryan was pretty much my only friend at my old school, and after we broke up I thought I was going to lose him. I don’t want to go through something like that again, especially since I’ve only been friends with you guys for a week.” Matt let out a sad sigh, feeling a little better getting that off his chest, but at the same time it hadn’t solved anything.

“I’ll talk to Ross, I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding, or he’s just stressed out about something. Don’t worry, we’re all your friends, we aren’t just going to abandon you.”

Matt smiled, and Barry swore he could see tears in Matt’s eyes before Matt pulled him in for a hug. Barry hugged Matt back, he knew that he should have probably been feeling a bit of guilt or something because of Matt being Ross’ crush but he didn’t, it just felt nice.


	5. Chapter 5

Barry spent some time with Matt, making sure that he had calmed down. Didn’t want him having a car accident on the way home. He was almost one hundred percent sure that Ryan would kill both him and Ross if that happened.

“Thank you,” Matt smiled shyly, hugging Barry again before they left. The pair had been sitting pretty close anyway, Matt curled up resting his head on Barry’s shoulder. Barry knew he probably shouldn’t have let it happen since he knew Matt’s feelings, but it was nice to have this kind of closeness with someone. It was nice to feel needed.

“It was nothing. Call if you need to talk about anything okay,” Barry smiled kindly, hugging Matt back, patting him on the back as he did so.

When Matt left Barry headed to his dorm room, nervous because he knew that Ross was going to be there. Barry wasn’t one for confrontation, and always avoided it, which had a lot of the time led to him having to do things he didn’t want to. This time however, it wasn’t for himself, this was for Matt. Matt didn’t deserve to be treated the way Ross was treating him, he didn’t deserve to be exposed to such childish behaviour, especially since he didn’t understand. Barry was surprised he hadn’t realised that Ross had a crush on him, but at the same time Ross wasn’t doing a good job of showing it.

Taking a deep breath Barry went into his dorm room. He’d expect Ross to still be ignoring him, possible listening to music with headphones in, the volume way to loud so Barry could hear it and Ross tried to act like it wasn’t hurting his ears. That was normally what happened when Ross was upset with someone, not that Barry was normally the one he was upset with. This time Ross was hostile from the beginning.

“Have fun with Matt?” He sneered, glaring at Barry. His sharp tone and the change from the norm caught Barry off guard but he knew he had to be confident. He needed to do this for Matt.

“Well considering he’s upset because of the way you treated him, can’t say it was a fun time,” Barry was surprised at the fact that he didn’t stutter, in fact he didn’t feel overly flustered. It was also a shock to him how confident he sounded, Barry wasn’t even sure if that was his own voice. Did he just say that in his head? From the way Ross’ eyes narrowed he guessed not.

“Looks like you had fun to me, it’s all over twitter, you guys look real adorable cuddled up like that,” from Ross’ tone it was clear that he didn’t actually find it cute, he sounded downright disgusted. Barry was confused, and Ross showed him. People had obviously been taking pictures, Barry was unsure how he and Matt didn’t see. They pictures were captions, some rude but most of them positive, a few even congratulated Barry either for snagging the new hottie, or because they’d never seen him in a relationship before.

“So what? You’re gonna trust what others are saying instead of asking me?” Barry was angry. Ross was meant to be his friend, and the fact that Ross truly believe he would date Matt without saying anything when he knows how Ross feels was damn right insulting.

“Picture speaks a thousand words,” Ross shrugged dismissively, his tone still angry, but it was clear that he was questioning the situation.

“You and Matt have been real close lately, you can’t blame me for thinking the worse.”

Barry could feel his body heating up with rage, he was livid that Ross would say such a thing, that he would act this way towards him.

“Yeah well did you ever think that maybe I just liked the fact that someone was paying attention to me for once? That it’s nice to feel wanted? You’ve known him for a week Ross, and you’ve barely tried to get to know him, you don’t love him. You’re just being a selfish prick!” Barry’s voice got louder and louder as he went on, to the point where he was shouting. Ross had never really heard Barry shout before, especially not at him, never at him, it caught him off guard but that didn’t mean he was going to let this go.

“Well maybe I haven’t been able to get to know him because you’re fucking hanging off his dick twenty-four seven! Seriously, why Matt of all people, he’s not the only person who’s wanted you. Suzy, Holly and Vernon have all had crushes on you and were heartbroken that you never took them up on their advances, maybe I’m not the selfish one here. weird I always thought you were a nice guy, would make a good boyfriend, but now I’m not so sure.”

Barry’s face took on a look of confusion, he never realised that any of his friends felt that way, they had never told him. Even thinking back on it he couldn’t think of them being anything over than friendly, but he guessed they did distance themselves from him a bit. Barry was upset that he had hurt his friends, but he had to focus on what was happening right now. Ross had called him selfish, Barry knew at times he was. He always wanted Ross to be his, he got jealous, and now he liked being around Matt because it made him feel wanted, needed, important, but he was not selfish in the way Ross was being. It was clear that Ross was just trying to hurt him, and it was working.

“If you thought I was so great then why did you never make a move huh? It seems like everyone else has had your attention before but me.” Barry felt a lump in his throat, and tears were stinging his eyes, but he didn’t want to let Ross have the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

Ross was taken aback by what Barry was saying. He’d never seen Barry like this.

“What… what does that have to do with anything?”

Barry could help but laugh in disbelief. Ross really didn’t know, or he was trying to act like he didn’t to let Barry down gently. Barry doubted the second one considering how Ross had been acting.

“Because I fucking love you asshole!” Barry exclaimed, unable to keep it in anymore.

Ross looked at Barry in shock and confusion. He also felt terrible, knowing how much he must have been hurting Barry. He wanted to ask how long, wanted to know why Barry never told him, but the words wouldn’t come.

Barry took Ross’ silence as a bad thing, he looked away from his friend, unable to keep the tears back.

“I’m gonna go,” he mumbled, leaving the dorm room. Ross didn’t even try to stop him, he just stood there, trying to take everything in, trying to make sense of it all. His brain was telling him to go after Barry, to apologise, but another part of him told him that Barry needed time alone.

Collapsing on his bed in tears Ross wondered how he could ever make things right again.


	6. Chapter 6

Barry took a moment in the dorm buildings restroom to calm down. He knew that his friendship with Ross had probably just been destroyed, but as upset as he was, Barry didn’t regret what happened. Maybe he could have worded things better, maybe he shouldn’t have started yelling, but at the end of the day it happened.

After he had stopped crying he called Matt, asking if he could spend the night at his place. He could have stayed in someone else’s dorm, but they weren’t big rooms. All Barry knew was that he needed to be away from Ross for a while. Staying with Matt may not be the smartest idea all things considered, but Barry didn’t care right now. He didn’t want all of his friends knowing what had happened, although Ross would probably tell them. Barry knew that Matt wouldn’t judge him, and that he would be kind and make Barry feel better.

Matt seemed to be good like that, over the past week he had constantly reassured Barry that his art was good, giving constructed criticism when it was needed. He also seemed genuine when he complemented Barry, and it wasn’t just because he had a crush. Barry actually felt confident enough to do work in class, and he had shown Matt some of his work, even if he didn’t think it was that great. With Ross, Barry had always been afraid to do anything like that, he wouldn’t show Ross his work unless he was happy with it, which was rare. It wasn’t like Ross was ever mean about his work, but Barry always felt the need to impress him.

Barry shook his head. He knew that his compulsion to impress Ross was stupid, but couldn’t help it, however with Matt around the compulsions seemed to be fading away. Barry couldn’t help but think about how much easier things would be with Matt, but he knew that he still loved Ross, as much as he wished he didn’t right now, as much as he wished he could fall for Matt instead, it just didn’t seem to be happening. He’s in love with Ross.

Matt said that it was okay for him to stay over, and asked what happened. Barry didn’t want to go over it on the phone, and told Matt he would explain when he got to the apartment. He felt bad knowing that Matt would probably blame himself for what happened, and thought it was unfair to put this on someone else, but Barry had nowhere else to go, or at least nowhere else where he would feel comfortable.

When Barry reached Matt and Ryan’s apartment he hesitated before knocking, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Matt opened the door, noticing how upset and uncomfortable Barry looked and his own expression turned into one of concern. He invited Barry in, and led him to the sofa, asking if he needed anything. Barry shook his head, sitting down next to Ryan on the couch. Ryan seemed equally concerned.

“So what happened? Matt told me you were going to speak to Ross.” Ryan questioned, a slight bite to his voice when he mentioned Ross. Matt had told him how Ross was acting, and unlike Matt, Ryan could guess why. He had tried to contact Ross but had been ignored. Ryan was ready to go into the college building and punch Ross for the way he had been acting, but Matt warned him not to.

“I talked to him,” Barry said, unsure how much of the story he should tell. He didn’t think it would be fair to Ross if he told Matt about Ross’ crush, but at the same time anything he said about what happened wouldn’t make much sense without it.

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well?” Ryan wasn’t surprised by the way Matt had described Ross’ behaviour, but he also couldn’t imagine Barry being in any sort of conflict. Especially since he seemed to tiptoe around Ross so he didn’t cause any upset.

“No, no not at all,” Barry let out a sad laugh, recalling the situation. It all felt so strange, like it wasn’t actually him in the situation, like it wasn’t real because there was no way he could have actually stood up to Ross like that, yet he did.

“I’m sorry Barry, this is all my fault. I should have spoken to him, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, Matt, it’s not your fault. Ross shouldn’t have been such an ass, you didn’t deserve it.” Barry reassured him.

‘And neither do I,’ he thought to himself.

“But I’m the one he doesn’t like, and if I hadn’t asked you to talk to him this wouldn’t have happened!” Matt exclaimed, unwilling to let anyone else take blame.

“He doesn’t dislike you, not by any means,” Barry’s voice took on a bitter tone. He couldn’t help but let it slip out.

Matt stared at Barry in confusion. Ryan noticed this and decided it was best for everyone to come clean before the situation got even more out of hand.

“Ross has a crush on you Matt,” Ryan stated.

Matt looked even more confused for a moment, and then it all sunk in and made sense in a way. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t figured it out sooner, but at the same time he did know Ross so how was he to know?

“Wait, so he told you that?”

Ryan grew bashful, remembering the conversation he had with Barry.

“No, I could just tell, and I told Barry to not let Ross hurt you,” Ryan explained, and Barry felt bad that he couldn’t do that. He went to apologise but Ryan cut him off.

“Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault, plus the warning was mainly towards you.”

Again, Matt looked confused, then he realised what Ryan was saying, just when Ryan realised what he had let slip.

“Ryan!” Matt exclaimed, but he wasn’t that angry. He hadn’t been overly subtle about his crush on Barry, and he knew Barry wouldn’t be cruel about it, he hadn’t been yet.

“Sorry, just wanted to protect you.” Ryan mumbled sheepishly and Matt couldn’t help but smile at how much of a mother hen Ryan could be sometimes.

“Eh, there are bigger problems right now. So, why did Ross get mad at you?”

Barry sighed, replaying the incident in his mind.

“He knows that you like me, and he thinks I’m trying to get with you or something, maybe that we’re already together. There were some pictures of us hugging on Twitter and it really pissed him off and he saw it as proof instead of asking me.” Barry sounded bitter, he couldn’t help it.

“Shit, I… I didn’t know people took pictures, that’s kinda creepy.”

Ryan nodded, going onto his Twitter to find out what people were saying. He showed it to Matt, and it was obvious that they were both relieved that most people seemed supportive. Barry questioned this, and they informed him that back home in the south people hadn’t been too kind the majority of the time.

The three decided to unwind due to the stressful day. Ryan didn’t have work that night and cooked up a nice meal for the three. His special, homemade soup. After they finished they spoke more about what they did before college, Matt and Ryan were both surprised to hear that Barry had been doing some work in the video game industry, nothing serious but he was pretty passionate about it.

“So why are you taking art then?” Matt asked.

“Sorry, that sounded rude, I just mean, well you told me you don’t really think of going into it as a career.”

Barry blushed, feeling stupid that he made such an expensive decision due to a crush.

“Ross?” Ryan teased slightly, not expecting Barry to nod.

“Yeah, it was stupid, I think I’m gonna change majors next year, take a catch-up class or something in the summer, I already know a lot of the basics that they’re teaching this year so it won’t be too hard.”

After another couple of hours of talking, moving on from the topic of Ross and onto more light-hearted matters they realised that it was getting late, and decided it would be best to head to bed. Barry felt awkward, not knowing where they would want him to stay, luckily Ryan seemed to be on top of things.

“You can sleep on the couch if you’d like, I’ll go get some blankets. It does get really cold out here though, our heating’s broken so it turns off at around two in the morning. Matt does have a double bed though,” Ryan winked, laughing at Matt’s pissed off expression.

“You’re an asshole,” Matt retorted, not serious about it, and Barry found himself laughing along. The idea of sharing a bed with Matt did scare him slightly, and he felt that it was wrong, that it could be considered as leading Matt on, but at the same time they were adults. He still decided that the couch was the better option all things considered.

Ryan shrugged, a little disappointed by Barry’s decision, and said a quick good night before heading out of the living room. Matt and Barry stood in awkward silence for a moment, before Matt spoke up.

“He’s right about it getting cold in here, damn near freezing sometimes. If it does get too cold you can come in my room, I won’t make things weird.” Matt played with the cuffs of his shirt. He couldn’t believe Barry knew about his crush, or the fact that Ryan had told him, but at the same time didn’t really mind too much since Barry must have known for a while and has never treated him differently.

“I know you won’t. Good night Matt,” Barry smiled kindly, and Matt gave a smile in return, before telling Barry where the spare toothbrushes are and that he can use whatever toothpaste he finds, and then he wished Barry sweet dreams.

Waiting till he heard both Ryan and Matt finish in the bathroom he brushed his teeth and then settled onto the couch which was now covered with two blankets, neither of them were particularly thick, and Barry already felt slightly cold.

He tried to fall asleep before the temperature dropped even more, but couldn’t get comfy. It was clear that Matt and Ryan had either gotten this couch very cheap, or they had owned it for a while. Barry could feel something digging into his back but whenever he tried to sort it out it seemed to get worse.

The temperature drop was very noticeable, and Barry couldn’t help but shiver. There was no way that he was going to be able to sleep, and although he didn’t have school the next day, he would probably have to deal with Ross, and he wanted to get some rest before then. Knowing it was for the best he got up, hoping that Matt would still be awake, or at the very least wouldn’t mind being bothered.

Barry knocked softly, and when he didn’t get an answer he went to walk away, but Matt opened the door just in time. He saw that Barry was shivering, wrapped in blankets. He couldn’t deny that it was cute, but he pushed the thought away.

“Is it okay if I…” Barry drifted off, blushing at the fact that he was going to finish that sentence with ‘sleep with you’ and although both of them would know what he meant it still seemed inappropriate.

“Yeah, like I said, it’s no problem.”

Mat climbed into bed, facing the wall, making sure he was as far from Barry as he could be. When he got into bed Barry could feel Matt’s body heat and was tempted to latch onto him for heat, but knew not to. No need to make things even more awkward.

“Night Barry,” Matt whispered, his heart beating and even though he knew it was impossible he still hoped Barry couldn’t hear it.

“Good night,” Barry replied, trying to ignore his own rapid heartbeat.


	7. Chapter 7

Ross had been unable to sleep that night, tossing and turning until he gave up. He had been hoping that Barry would come back to their room at some point so they could talk about it. Ross knew that he was in the wrong. His emotions had got the better of him, and while he knew that wasn’t an excuse for his actions it was what happened and he had to deal with the repercussions. He just hoped that he hadn’t ruined his friendship.

He questioned if it could even be saved now that he knew about Barry’s feelings, not that he was a complete jerk who couldn’t get over the fact that his best friend had a crush on him, or loved him.

Ross couldn’t stop hearing Barry say that. Love, Barry loved him. Was that the reason why he hadn’t noticed when any of their friends had been harbouring a crush on him? Vernon had a crush on him at the start of the school year, there was no way it had been that long, was there?

Groaning in frustration Ross picked up his phone and messaged his friends to see if any of them were awake. Holly and Suzy were, of course they were, the night owls. Ross wondered how Holly could still stay up so long when she spent so much of her day studying.

He made his way to their dorm, thankful that the dorm building was co-ed, even if the rooms weren’t. When he knocked Suzy opened the door for him, she was smiling which he took as a sign that Barry hadn’t told her what happened. He wasn’t sure if he was thankful or not. Suzy was very protective of all of her friends, and didn’t like when anyone hurt them, so it scared him to think how she would react to her friends hurting each other.

“Ross, you okay sweetie?” Holly’s soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he shook his head, before explaining what happened. When Ross was telling the story sometimes the pair would gasp but other than that they were silent until Ross was finished.

“Ross, how could you? You know Barry would never hurt you,” Suzy scowled him, but her voice still had a kind tone to it. She understood that Ross was sorry, and that it was hard for him as well.

“I was jealous, I know he wouldn’t but I didn’t know… Did you know he… he loves me?” Ross still couldn’t believe it.

Suzy and Holly looked at each other with concerned looks on their faces which gave Ross his answer.

“Did everyone know?”

Suzy bit her lip and Holly sighed, deciding that it was better that Ross know the truth.

“After a while we all suspected it, especially when he didn’t notice Suzy’s very obvious advances.”

Suzy let out a noise of protest at that, but Holly ignored her. Cosplaying one of Barry’s favourite video game characters, whom was quite scantily clad, was not in any way subtle.

“I asked him, and he told me how he felt, he said I could tell Suzy if I wanted to, but no one else. So, no, the others don’t know, and they don’t know that we know, but they still think he does.”

Ross felt really stupid that he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t imagine how much it must have hurt Barry when he had been with other people, especially since he wasn’t interested in a relationship with them and it was just for fun.

“I… I don’t know what to do,” Ross admitted. Other than apologising he didn’t know how to fix this, or if it could even be fixed and he stated his worries to Holly and Suzy.

“Well, do you have feelings for Barry?” Suzy questioned.

Ross thought about it. Sure, he had thought Barry would make a good boyfriend, but not for him. Barry had always just been a friend to him. He felt horrible for it, but no, he didn’t love Barry.

“Not in a romantic way,” Ross explained, his tone sad, and Holly hugged him, making sure he knew that it was okay for him to not return Barry’s feelings.

“You just need to tell him that, and make sure he knows that you don’t actually think he’d do anything with Matt, then see what happens from there. Barry isn’t unreasonable, I doubt he’ll hold this against you, or do anything to spite you.”

Ross nodded at Suzy’s words and thanked them both for being so helpful and kind.

“No problem, but please think before you do something like this again, otherwise I might not be so kind,” Suzy warned, and although her tone was friendly Ross knew not to take her words lightly.

He walked back to his dorm room, knowing that two in the morning was not the best time to go looking for Barry. He still couldn’t sleep and instead tried to get on with some work, then gave that up and wondered what he should say to Barry, and imagined scenario after scenario, most of them ending badly.

At six in the morning Ross could feel his eyelids grown heavy and he dozed for a while, but couldn’t properly sleep and soon it was eight in the morning, a reasonable time to wake up, even if it was the weekend. Ross chose to get breakfast first, letting his friends sleep a little longer before going to ask them if they had seen Barry.

He actually ran into Vernon and Jack at the coffee shop he went to get breakfast at. It wasn’t surprising since the pair usually got up early to go on a bike ride. Jack was obviously still half asleep, and Ross knew he was doing this because Vernon was always so happy when on his bike. He asked if they had seen Barry, claiming that he hadn’t come back to their dorm last night, which wasn’t a lie, just withholding information they didn’t need to know yet if they didn’t already know. Neither of them had seen Barry though.

“Maybe he got laid,” Vernon joked, knowing that it was unlikely, but he kind of hoped Barry had gotten over Ross. It was sad to see him pining.

Jack nodded his head, although he also thought it was unlikely and posed what he thought would be a more likely circumstance.

“Maybe he fell asleep in one of the tech rooms?” It made sense considering Barry liked to hang out there sometimes due to the fact that the class taught video game development, something Barry had been unaware of, so now he learnt from people who took the class, Vernon being one of them. Ross doubted that Barry would be there but it was worth checking.

He thanked Vernon and Jack before leaving with his order, eating and drinking on the way back to the college building. Ross checked any classrooms Barry was known to frequent but he wasn’t in any of them. He then went to check if any of his friends had seen him, which they hadn’t.

The only place he could think that Barry could be was Matt and Ryan’s apartment. The idea of going over there unsettled him. If Barry had gone there then Matt and Ryan probably knew what happened. The fact that Matt could know about Ross’ crush scared him enough, but add in the fact that he was pretty sure that Ryan wasn’t the biggest fan of him made Ross even more afraid. He knew that he couldn’t avoid it though, this situation needed to be sorted as soon as possible or else he would convince himself not to do anything and it would be left to fester.

When Ross gets to the apartment complex he takes the stairs, and halfway curses the fact that he didn’t take gym class. Eventually he makes it to the top floor and stands there for a moment, wondering if this really is a good idea, or should he have waited for Barry to come to him. As he’s trying to justify leaving the door opens and Ryan walks out, it’s clear from the way he’s dressed that he’s about to go to work.

The look he gives Ross upon seeing him is all Ross needs to know that Ryan is aware of what happened yesterday.

“Looking for Barry I assume,” his tone is dismissive, but for a moment he looks concerned.

“I, I did something really dumb yesterday,” Ross says, his voice sad and embarrassed.

“Not the one you need to tell, I think Barry’s still asleep, he’s either in the living room or Matt’s room,” Ryan states quickly before running off to work, which he is already late for.

The fact that Barry could be in Matt’s room makes Ross feel uneasy, but he takes a moment to think about things logically and guesses that Matt either slept somewhere else, being a good host and giving Barry a bed to sleep in, or Barry slept on the floor in Matt’s room, maybe because something got spilt on the couch, and it was Matt’s room and not Ryan’s because Matt’s room is bigger. There was no reason to just to conclusion.

Ross checked the living room, but Barry wasn’t there. Again, he tried to think rationally, there was no reason not to. He knocked on the door to what he assumed was Matt’s room, since the door the other bedroom had been left wide open. No one answered and Ross contemplated what to do. He turned the door handle to see if the room was open, maybe this was the bathroom. The door opened and Ross looked in, shocked at what he saw.

Barry was in bed with Matt, snuggled into his chest.

Ross felt himself becoming hot with rage. He thought he was being stupid thinking Barry would do something like this. He trusted Barry. Barry had said he loved him. Was he using Matt right now? Ross didn’t want to believe that his sweet, innocent friend would ever do something like that. Maybe he didn’t know Barry as well as he thought he did.

Ross wasn’t willing to let this go right now. He slammed the door behind him to wake the pair up. They both woke up with a jolt, unsure of what happened. Barry realised that he was so close to Matt and pulled away, blushing.

“No need to act like that at my expense,” Ross glowered at them, his body shaking in anger.

The pair were both startled, not realising that Ross was in the room till then, too busy feeling bashful that they had woken up so close to each other.

“Ross, it’s not what it looks like,” Matt tried to explain, wanting to question why Ross was here in the first place, but he guessed Ryan let him in.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s not. Fuck this shit, I came here to tell you I was wrong, that I didn’t think you would try to hurt me, but I guess you would, thanks for proving me right Barry. You call me an asshole, yet you’re here using Matt to get back at me.”

Matt looked at Barry, unsure why Ross would think such a thing, Barry was equally confused, and also couldn’t believe that Ross would think so little of him.

“Don’t look at me like that, aren’t you the one who said it was nice to feel wanted? To have attention?”

Barry tried to explain that it wasn’t like that but couldn’t stop stammering over his words. He could feel pain in his chest, unable to deal with the fact that Ross, who was meant to be his best friend, the person he was closest to, was acting like this.

Seeing Barry like this was making Ross regret his actions, and he remembered what Suzy had told him, that Barry wouldn’t do anything to spite him. He questioned how true that was, and anger spiked again, but before he could say anything Matt was yelling at him to leave.

“Ross get the fuck out! Get out of my fucking apartment,” he almost growled and it was a little scary to see Matt so furious. His expression changed in an instant when he looked back own at Barry, trying to calm him down, holding him close and telling him it was okay. Ross felt jealous, but he also felt sick that he had caused Barry to have a panic attack. He wanted to help but the glare Matt gave him when he went to move closer told him that it was better if he left.

As he left he could hear Barry weakly crying out “I’m sorry,” again and again, Ross wasn’t sure who it was to, but it broke his heart, because on some level he knew that this wasn’t Barry’s fault, he just couldn’t admit it to himself yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Matt continued to hold Barry and try to calm him down for a little over half an hour before his panic attack subsided. He still wasn’t in great shape after, constantly trying to apologise and tell Matt that he wasn’t using him.

“Barry, I know you’re not like that. I’ve never felt like you were using me, even now that I know you knew about my crush,” Matt shrugged. Honestly if Barry liked feeling wanted then he didn’t mind, Barry deserved to feel wanted and loved, even if it was just as a friend.

“Come on, we should eat,” Matt suggested, knowing that panic attacks can really tired someone out, and that at the very least Barry needed something to drink.

Barry excused himself so that he could use the bathroom while Matt went to make breakfast. He wasn’t amazing in the kitchen, but he just about knew how to make pancakes, which seemed like a good breakfast. He looked at the time, it was only a little past ten in the morning. They had invited the overs over later when Ryan got back from work, but he wasn’t sure if it was the best idea, and decided it was best to cancel it so he could look after Barry, who probably wouldn’t want to go back to the college campus yet. Matt let himself be selfish for a moment and wonder if Barry would want to sleep with him tonight. He could still feel Barry cuddled around him, but as nice as it was he knew it didn’t mean anything.

When Barry came back he offered to help Matt, stating that cooking helped calm him down. Matt left Barry for a moment to use the bathroom himself, and when he came Barry had already made half the pancakes.

“I figured you’d want to make some as well,” Barry shrugged, moving out of the way to Matt could take over. When Matt made his first pancake he attempted to flip it, but when catching it only half of the pancake made it in. Barry giggled and Matt swore he had never heard such a cute sound.

Matt put more batter into the frying pan, deciding not to try and show off again. He then made a few more, only burning one of them, and even then, it was only slightly burnt.

“It’s practically charred,” Barry retorted when Matt continued to insist that it wasn’t completely burnt.

“Come on, you also lost half of one when showing off, take one of mine. I’m not going to be able to finish them all anyway,” Barry persisted, already moving one of his pancakes onto Matt’s plate.

“Fine but I’m not gonna be happy when eating this,” Matt claimed, even though he had a massive smile on his face and laughed straight after he spoke.

Barry helped Matt clean up after breakfast, even though Matt said that he didn’t have to. Matt washed up while Barry dried, since there wasn’t a drying up rack.

“Ryan forgot it and we just haven’t gotten round to getting a new one.” Matt explained, mainly just because he didn’t want them to be left in silence since he knew Barry might start thinking about what happened earlier that morning.

Barry was still thinking about that, he couldn’t help it. He also couldn’t help but think how domestic this was, and how nice being around Matt was, no matter what they were doing. Due to what Ross said that morning Barry couldn’t help but think that it was wrong for him to be thinking like this, but that didn’t stop him. Maybe Ross was right about him being selfish.

“Hey Barry, you okay?”

Barry stayed silent for a moment. A few seconds past and he shook his head.

“I just… Is Ross right about me being selfish? I feel like, I dunno, this is nice and I’m enjoying myself, but I shouldn’t be because Ross is supposed to be my best friend and I love him, and I’ve hurt him so much and I never meant to,” Barry tried to explain.

Barry wasn’t sure if he was making sense, and he also felt like he had a lot more to say, but he didn’t know how to word it. He knew that he loved Ross, and he knew that love was still there, but at the same time he couldn’t help but think about how easy things with Matt were, and how he kind of wanted Matt to kiss him so he’d stop rambling, but at the same time he didn’t know if he was just thinking these things because Matt actually showed a romantic interest in him. To sum things up, love is confusing.

“Barry, you’ve done nothing wrong. You know about Ross’ crush and you’ve never tried to make a move on me, you’ve never used the fact that I like you against me. I get that Ross is jealous that we’re close, but that doesn’t mean he should act that that, and you’re allowed to be happy. You can enjoy yourself, you don’t have to worry about how Ross is feeling all the time, you don’t have to do things just because he wants you to, or miss out on opportunities because he doesn’t want to take them. You deserve to be happy.” Matt smiled kindly, but he still managed to look serious. Barry couldn’t help but think about all the times he had given something up because Ross wasn’t interested. He was taking art class for fuck sake, when he could be learning how to program video games, the thing he’s actually interested in but didn’t know they had at the college because he just decided to do what Ross was doing in fear of losing his friend.

“I’m an idiot,” Barry sighed, feeling dejected. Not only did he feel like he had wasted time and money, but he also couldn’t fully regret it because he had enjoyed being around Ross.

“No, you’re not, we all do stupid things when we’re in love. We just need to learn from our mistakes.” Matt shrugged, knowing that he had made a lot of mistakes in his life, especially when he was with Ryan, but they made it out okay. Barry would be fine, and if he needed help Matt would be there.

“Ever thought about being a motivational speaker?” Barry half-joked because seriously he felt a lot better, not any less confused, but better.

“Nah, I’d find a way to fuck up,” Matt laughed. Barry noticed the way the sides of his eyes crinkled, how nice Matt’s laugh was, and how… no he couldn’t think like this. He needed to say something, needed to not be able to focus on his thoughts.

“So how come you’re so comfortable with the fact that I know you have a crush on me?” Okay not the best thing to bring up, but Barry couldn’t stop himself as the words started to leave his mouth.

“I mean, I’ve liked Ross for a while, and I was terrified that he would find out,” Barry further explained, afraid that he might come across as rude.

“Eh, I mean I was kinda mad about Ryan telling you, but I know that he was doing what he thought was best for me, so I guess when I look at it that why it’s not a big deal, and I know you’re not gonna be an ass about it so it’s whatever.” Matt shrugged again, and Barry wished he could care as little as Matt did when it came to stuff like this. As it was Barry was finding himself sweating because he still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he had thought about kissing Matt, and the fact that he wanted to but he also still had feelings for Ross, or at least, he thinks he still does.

“Matt?” Barry asked, hoping the sudden burst of courage he felt didn’t leave too quickly, and that this wasn’t about to blow up in his face.

“Yeah.”

“I’m really confused right now,” Barry admitted.

“Why? Something wrong?”

“I just… I really want to kiss you right now.”


	9. Chapter 9

Matt was stunned to say the least. He never expected Barry to say that, and he wasn’t sure whether he should believe it. As much as he wanted to kiss Barry, he also knew what Barry was going through. He was confused, lost, and afraid. Maybe he had developed feelings for Matt, but Matt wasn’t going to give himself false hope.

“Barry, you know how I feel, and if things were different I would, believe me I want to kiss you too, but we need to sort things out with Ross first. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.” It took all of Matt’s self-restraint to not kiss Barry right there and worry about the consequences later, why should he anyway? Ross didn’t deserve their kindness, but he knew that things would be worse for Barry, and he didn’t want Barry to just be moving on to someone because they like him and show him kindness.

Barry understood this. He could feel his face flush bright red in embarrassment, but he was glad he had gotten his feelings out, some of them at least. Now he needed to sort things out with Ross.

“So wait, you mean to tell me that you accused Barry of something, and you hadn’t stopped to listen to what he had to say, even though that was exactly what I told you not to do!” Suzy’s voice got louder and louder as she spoke, until she was shouting at Ross. Holly jumped at the sudden raise in volume and Suzy apologised, knowing she was trying to study for her test on Monday.

Ross stuttered trying to explain himself, but he knew that there was no reasonable explanation for what he had done. He knew that he should have asked why Barry and Matt were in bed together, he should have heard Barry’s side of the story. Barry wasn’t the kind of person to say he loved someone and then immediately go sleep with someone else after, the fact that he hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time and hadn’t taken noticed of any advances proved this.

“I… I know, I fucked up and I’m sorry. I saw them in bed together and I lost it. I was hurt and it made me want to hurt them!” Ross yelled back at Suzy, but really, he was yelling because he was angry with himself. He had hurt one of his best friends, and made a fool of himself in front of his crush. Tears filled Ross’ eyes as he realised that he had become.

“I’m a monster,” Ross’ voice was quiet, and broke as he choked back tears but both Suzy and Holly heard him. Holly closed her book and rushed over to Ross, getting him to sit on the bed to calm him down. She told Suzy to go make them some tea. Suzy followed Holly’s orders, going to the kitchen area, but not before kissing Ross on the forehead and telling him that he wasn’t a monster.

“Sweetie, you made a mistake-” Ross gave Holly a look, “-Okay a few mistakes, but we all do. I’m not going to say that it’s all going to go back to normal because it probably won’t. What you said obviously hurt Barry, and I’m sure Matt isn’t impressed, but they will forgive you, and eventually thing will get better, but you need to take the first step and apologise, and when you do you need to be in a better headspace than you are now, otherwise this might happen again.”

Ross listened to Holly, her voice calming him down. He agreed with her, knowing that she was right.

Suzy came back with tea for both Ross and Holly before sitting on the other side of Ross, and she rubbed his back to help calm him. While still frustrated at him, she understood that Ross was going through a hard time, and he didn’t mean to hurt anyone, his emotions just took over. She did however, want to know why Ross was so angry, because she felt like there was something else there.

“Why are you so angry at Barry?” She questioned, her voice soft but firm, letting him know that he can’t dodge the question.

Ross was silent for a moment, thinking. Why was he so angry? Why was he so jealous when he didn’t really know Matt that well anyway? Why was he pushing Barry away? He wondered if it was because of Barry’s feelings, and although he was a little freaked out, he wasn’t going to end his friendship because of it.

“I don’t know. It’s not, like I don’t have feelings for him, and that sounds horrible, but I’m not going to pretend that I do because leading him on would be wrong, and I don’t even, like Matt seems like a nice guy, but my crush was superficial. I barely know the guy. I dunno, Barry’s my best friend, I don’t want to lose him,” Ross wasn’t sure if there was some deeper reason that he had acted the way that he did, and if there was he knew he’d be the last one to find out.

“So, how would you feel if Barry and Matt started dating?” Suzy continued her questioning, hoping that maybe things would be easier for Ross if he knew why he acted the way he did.

Ross couldn’t help but tense up at the idea of Matt and Barry together, the image of them snuggled up in bed came to mind, and although he felt that jealousy he also couldn’t help but think that they did look adorable, and for the first time in a long time Barry actually looked content, as if he wasn’t on edge constantly.

“I’d… I’d support them. Matt brings out the best in Barry, I think everyone can see that, he does a better job than I could ever hope to.”

“Is that what’s bothering you?” Holly asked, understanding that this had nothing to do with crushes at all. Ross was afraid that he was a bad friend, and that because of that he was going to lose his one of his best friends.

“Yeah, like, I’ve known Barry for a while, he was my first friend when I came down here. I mean I knew Arin, but we hadn’t met yet and I was afraid that he was going to hate me, but Barry’s always been there for me and seeing how Matt treats Barry makes me wonder if I was ever there for him.” Ross felt that he had been a terrible friend to Barry, that he hadn’t done enough. Seeing Barry so comfortable with Matt proved that.

“Ross, you’ve been a great friend to Barry. I was in high school with him, and he was normally so quiet and never spoke to anyone. I’m not even sure if he had that many friends, but after last summer, once he met you and came here he was so much more confident. I think if he never met you he’d be in the same situation, quiet and scared of everything. I feel like we could all have been better friends at times, but like Holly said, we all make mistakes.” Suzy smiled at Ross, and he couldn’t help but give a small smile back and he thanked both her and Holly for helping him, again.

“Just actually take our advice this time,” Holly warned Ross, but her voice was still gentle as always and she laughed a little. Suzy on the other hand, while still smiling, had a look in her eyes that told Ross that he better not mess up this time, and Ross made a promise that he was going to follow their advice and he wasn’t going to screw up, at least he was going to try really hard not to.


	10. Chapter 10

Ross didn’t expect to see Barry that weekend, and it was for the best really that he didn’t. He needed time to think things over. His feelings for Matt were gone, and he didn’t have romantic feeling for Barry, so it shouldn’t be this difficult. Ross could be happy for them if they did start dating, he just didn’t want to lose his best friend, especially since, although they had a big friend group, they did all split up into smaller groups. That was what Ross was truly afraid of, ending up alone, but he knew his friends would never cast him out. Maybe, if Barry and Matt became closer, or didn’t forgive him, he could hang out with Holly more, once her exams were over. He liked Holly, she was kind and patient with him. When he wasn’t thinking about what happened with Barry and Matt, he was thinking about her. Ross wasn’t quite ready for a relationship, he felt like he needed to take some time to work on himself and grow. Like Holly said, he made some mistakes, he was human, and he was going to learn from this.

He wondered if Barry was okay. Ross couldn’t get the image of Barry crying and struggling to breath properly out of his head, nor could he stop hearing Matt scolding him. He didn’t blame Matt for getting so angry, he would do the same thing. Ross trusted that Matt would look after Barry. Matt was good for Barry, better than he was.

Ross shook his head. No, this wasn’t a competition. He wasn’t going to try and be a better friend to Barry than Matt was. What he needed to do was be the best friend that he could be to Barry, and he hadn’t been doing that lately. He’d been an absolute asshole and it wasn’t right.

Ross hoped that Barry was okay.

Barry was doing a lot better. He felt a little awkward now that he had told Matt how he felt, and, well not gotten rejected, but reminded that now was not the best time. Matt wasn’t acting like it didn’t happen, but he didn’t bring it up. Barry was thankful for that, not that he didn’t expect it.

He knew that talking to Ross was the best option, but he wasn’t ready to yet. Barry didn’t know what he was going to say to Ross. He didn’t even know what he thought about Ross. Ross was meant to be his friend, and he thought that Ross would never hurt him. Maybe if this was just the first time then Barry would be less confused about whether he should forgive him straight away, but when it’s happened twice, well who’s to say it won’t happen again? Then again Ross was his best friend, and had been for many years. This was also assuming that Ross was going to apologise, but Barry knew in his heart that Ross didn’t mean what he said. He’d always been there for Barry, and Barry wasn’t willing to let it all go to waste. Not when he knew that Ross was a good person at heart.

He told Matt what was going through his mind. Barry thought that Matt was going to say that it wasn’t worth forgiving Ross, since he hadn’t left the best impression on Matt.

“Barry, I’m, I’m not sure what to make of Ross, but I know you, and I know that if you think he’s worth staying friends with, then he probably is.” Matt was not a fan of Ross, not right now. There were a few moments, when Ross wasn’t flirting, that Matt saw himself being friends with the guy, like when they were talking about art, but he could never see anything beyond friendship, and right now the idea of friendship was rocky. He did however trust Barry’s judgement, but only to a point. Knowing how nervous Barry got sometimes he didn’t trust Barry to stand up for himself at times, but he also doubted that Barry would have continued being friends with Ross, and that Ross would continue being friends with Barry if Ross wasn’t a decent person. Matt just needed to see more of that person and not the jealous asshole.

“I… I really do. Like, it’s not, uh… I guess there were times where I’d excuse things he did, not that they were that bad, because I had a crush on him, but I don’t anymore, and I still think he’s not a bad guy, and a good friend.” Barry still felt confused. The more he thought about it the more he realised that he hadn’t been as in love with Ross for a while, like he still felt those feelings because he was constantly around him. He’d never let himself get over Ross. By no means did he want to stay away from Ross, but maybe some time apart wasn’t the worst thing ever. He still loved Ross, but as a friend, and hopefully he could still call him that.

Matt nodded to show he understood, and they left it at that. Barry was still worried, wondering if his crush on Ross would return if he spent more time with him, but at the same time he knew that his feelings for Matt were real, and honestly, they were healthier. When he fell for Ross he agreed with everything Ross wanted, and even decided to take a college course in something he wasn’t that interested in. Barry knew it was stupid, and that none of those things actually helped in terms of trying to form a romantic relationship with Ross. They did however succeed in making Barry less happy, especially taking art class when he could have been learning about computers and video game programming. Maybe he could switch classes?

Matt could tell that Barry was still overthinking, but there wasn’t really much he could do about that. When he asked if Barry was okay, Barry said that he was and he didn’t seem to want to talk about it any further than that, and Matt wasn’t going to force that. As long as Barry was okay Matt was happy, and he hoped that things worked out.

After spending the weekend with Matt and Ryan, who had cancelled on having anyone over, Barry felt ready to speak to Ross again. Whatever happened, he knew it would be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay so Barry may have felt like he was able to speak to Ross as the weekend came to an end, but by the end of Sunday he wasn’t sure and ended up staying at Matt and Ryan’s apartment for the night, and Matt drove them into college.

Barry knew that Ross had a free lesson first but he still didn’t go to see him. It was partly because he was scared, but also because he needed to go and talk to teachers about his options in terms of switching classes and majoring in computering instead of art. Realistically he knew it would probably be best to start over next year as it was a little beyond the middle of the year. However, Barry had knowledge of the subject already and had been learning in his own time. He hoped that this might help his case. There was no point in him staying in a class he no longer wanted to do. He thought about quitting for the rest of the year if there was no possibility of continuing but the amount of money he paid for college made him reconsider.

Matt came with Barry to the principle. While they were on the way people kept congratulating them, or asking if they were together. Neither of them were really sure what to say. They weren’t together, but they both wanted to be. After the second time it happened, they agreed to tell people that they weren’t together, which often left people upset.

“It’s so weird to think people care so much about this,” Barry mused, not really liking all the extra attention, especially when it was about his personal life. He wondered how celebrities dealt with it and was just glad he wasn’t in the same boat.

“It’s weird that people are so nice about it,” Matt replied, remembering how bad things were in his previous school. He flinched slightly at the memory of being punched in the face, he’d had a black eye for about a month due to that.

Barry was sorry that Matt had to go through what he did. They had spoken about it during the weekend. Throughout that weekend Barry found himself become more and more understanding as to why Ryan looked after Matt so much. Matt had always been the main target because Ryan had some experience in fighting. Due to them being in different classes it was harder for Ryan to stay with Matt, but Ryan always got back at the people who hurt him. Ryan hated being violent but the school refused to help them so he had to take matters into his own hands. He was nervous when they moved and Matt decided he wanted to continue going to college, but thankfully things all worked out for the best.

Barry was about to say something when he got called into the principal’s office. Matt waited outside for him, hoping that Barry would be allowed to switch majors, not that he didn’t like having art class with Barry, but it wasn’t what Barry wanted and Barry deserved to finally do what he wanted to do and not follow someone else.

After about twenty minutes Barry walked out of the office with a small smile on his face which he soon directed at Matt.

“He said I’m allowed to switch over tomorrow, since that’s when the next class is, and I don’t have to go to art class today.”

Matt hugged Barry, happy that he could actually do what he wanted now. Barry hoped that Matt couldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating. He really did have feelings for Matt, but Matt knew that and somehow, that made things easier. Yes, Barry felt nervous, worried that he might do the wrong thing, but it wasn’t like with Ross where he was worried about his every move, and he pretended to like certain things in hopes that Ross would like him more.

The bell for the next class went and Matt had to leave. Barry wasn’t really sure what to do in his spare time, but he figured he better swing by his dorm room and change since he was currently wearing Ryan’s clothes.

When Matt walked into the art classroom he wasn’t actually sure what to do. Did he sit where he normally did? Wouldn’t it be awkward when he yelled at Ross the other day? Should he say that things are okay, or wait until Barry had spoken to him? There was also the fact that Arin probably didn’t know what happened, which added to the confusion of what to do.

In the end Matt decided that it was best to act as if nothing had happened, unless Ross brought it up. What happened was mainly between Barry and Ross, and although he was partially involved, though not through his own volition, what happened between them wasn’t for him to try and sort out or comment on.

Ross looked worried when Matt walked over, even when he cheerfully greeted him and Arin, acting as if what happened over the weekend never happened. He was also worried that Barry wasn’t there, especially when Matt told a curious Arin that Barry had switched majors. Throughout class Ross would look over at Matt, and if they happened to catch eyes Matt would just nod in acknowledgment if Ross didn’t look away fast enough. Arin was smart enough to be able to read the situation and excused himself to go to the bathroom.

“I- I’m sorry, about what happened, I was an asshole,” Ross admitted, his hands shaking and he dropped his pen, which Matt picked up, making sure to be just as showy as Ross was on the day they met.

“You know, I’m good at bending over too,” Matt commented, voice completely serious, if not a little sultry. Ross blushed, facepalming as he laughed.

“God, I really thought that would sound good, didn’t I?”

Matt laughed along, realising that this was probably the first conversation he’d had with Ross that didn’t involve Ross flirting with him, Ross being cold towards him, or him yelling at Ross, and he had to admit, it was pleasant. He was still mad at Ross, but liked he had said, if Barry saw a friendship worth salvaging then it was worth it.

“Yeah, yeah you did. Anyway, what happened over the weekend, and before that, I’m willing to forgive you, but only if you talk to Barry. He’s the one who deserves the apology.” Part of Matt wanted to list off everything Barry had done for Ross, but the better part of him knew it wasn’t his place to say. Barry could tell him if he wanted, and only if he wanted to.

Ross blinked heavily in disbelief.

“Of-of course. I wanted to talk to him this morning but I couldn’t find him. I’ll, I’ll try to find him after class.” Ross knew that talking to Barry was going to be ten times harder than talking to Matt. Barry was one of his closest friends, but after what had happened he wasn’t sure they would ever have that again. He hoped that they could still be friends.

Matt and Ross chatted for a little while longer, straying away from the topic of Barry and what happened that weekend. When Arin came back the pair were joking around just like they should have been when they first met. He wasn’t sure what happened, he assumed it was something to do with the love triangle they shared with Barry, but it wasn’t any of his business. Arin was just glad that they seemed to be sorting things out. He re-joined the pair and continued with his art project, drawing his boyfriend and Dan’s ninja sidekick happily while he listened to Ross and Matt talk. He could tell they were both still not entirely comfortable with each other, but it was a start, and that was enough for now.

When their double class ended Arin rushed out, telling the pair that he needed to meet Dan, when really, he just wanted to give the two more time alone so they had more of a chance to sort out whatever they needed to sort out.

Matt, messaged Barry asking where he was and if it was okay for Ross to speak to him. Barry replied that he was in his dorm and that it was okay. Matt passed the information onto Ross, who was playing with loose threads of his jacked, eyes directed to the floor, biting his lip. Although Matt had, for the most part, forgiven him for what had happened in the past, seeing Ross this fragile finally drove home how much Ross really did regret what he did and said, and it was clear that he was truly sorry.

“Ross, it’s going to be fine. Barry wouldn’t say it was okay to speak to him if he was angry.”

Ross ran his hand through his hair, letting out a noise of frustration.

“That’s the problem. Barry should be mad at me, he shouldn’t want anything to do with me.” Ross tried to remember what Holly told him, that he had just made mistakes, but his brain was telling him that he was a monster, and he didn’t deserve Barry as a friend.

“Look, I’m not going to pretend that Barry wasn’t hurt, and he probably still is, but I know he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend. He believes that you’re a good person, he knows that you didn’t mean what you said.” Matt still didn’t agree with what Ross did, but if he had walked in on Ryan in bed with Barry he wasn’t sure he would have handled the situation much better.

Ross didn’t believe he was a good person, but he knew that he didn’t mean what he said, and that he would try his hardest to never do something like that again, and not just due to fear of what Suzy would do to him.

“I- I really am sorry, I shouldn’t have treated you the way I have, all the flirting and then being an asshole, and just everything really. I know it might be too late but can we start over?”

Matt was glad that Ross knew the way he behaved not just at the weekend, but from the very moment they met, was not appropriate and that he had learnt from his mistakes.

“Of course we can, now go, Barry’s waiting.” As much as Matt would like to learn what it was like to actually be friends with Ross, he knew that Barry and Ross needed to have a much-needed conversation.

“Thank you,” Ross gave Matt a small, almost shy smile, before leaving to go and talk to Barry. His heart was racing, but this needed to be sorted. He’d already taken a big step with Matt, and Matt forgave him. Hopefully Barry would do the same, even if it takes a while for them to be as close as they were, Ross would be okay with that.

Before he knew it, Ross was at his dorm room. Even though it was his own room, he felt it was only right to knock. As he waited for Barry to open the door his heart was pounding so hard he swore it was going to beat out of his chest, but he mentally reassured himself that he could do this, and that he shouldn’t run away.

Barry was equally nervous, his hand shaking as he opened the door. He invited Ross in, feeling incredibly awkward telling his roommate to come in to their shared room.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while, which Barry was the one to end. He walked over and sat on the couch.

“Hey,” he said, awkwardly patting the space next to him on the couch. Ross didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at how uneasy everything felt, but he sat down next to Barry, making sure he wasn’t too close.

“Hey. I… I’m really sorry for what I did, I was a fucking dick and I want you to know that I didn’t mean anything I said,” Ross could feel tears falling down his face. His mind could only focus on the image of Barry having a panic attack and the fact that he was the cause of that.

“I-I-I… I was just so afraid,” Ross continued thought the tears, “tha-that I… That I was going to lose you… and I-I took it out on you a-and Matt.” Ross sobbed, the weight of what he had done sinking in even further and he wished that he could go back and stop himself from doing what he did. He wished that he could just not be himself.

Barry hated seeing Ross so upset. Regardless of what he did out of jealousy, he was still one of his best friends, and he hated seeing any of his friends upset. He scooted closer to Ross, and embraced him in a hug. Ross jolted slightly in shock, and at first found himself unwilling to accept the hug, remaining as ridged as possible.

“It’s okay, I forgive you,” Barry whispered, rubbing Ross’ back in hopes to calm him down. It took a while but Ross soon loosened up, now crying into Barry’s shoulder, but Barry didn’t mind.

“I’m so sorry,” Ross repeated again and again, no matter how many times Barry told him it was okay, or that he didn’t need to keep apologising. Ross felt like he could never apologise enough for what he did.

Eventually Barry did get Ross to stop apologising, but not before he explained why he did what he did, or at least why he thought he did, and that he understands that it doesn’t excuse his actions.

“I just... I get so jealous of you, like I’ve always seen that people have crushes on you, and people just see me as someone to have sex with,” Ross didn’t mention that that was partly his fault, but Barry didn’t mention it either, knowing Ross didn’t like to talk about it.

“So, with Matt, I thought I really liked him, and that we could be a thing, like some sort of cute artist couple, and then I noticed that he liked you and I don’t know it made me feel inadequate, and then you stopped being around as much. I felt like I was losing my best friend and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

Ross had thought about this a lot throughout the weekend, and while he knew it didn’t make things better, and it didn’t make what he did right or excusable, he felt better knowing the reason why he did it and now that Barry knew if something like this ever happened again then they could talk about it.

“I understand. I mean it hurt, and it still does, but I understand how everything must have looked. Ross, I… I know I said I loved you, and I still do, just- it’s more as a friend now,” Barry took a deep breath, fearing the worst, but Ross had been honest with him, and he had to be honest with Ross.

“Spending so much time with Matt, especially over the weekend, I, well I realised that I do have feelings for him,” Barry looked at Ross, trying to judge a reaction, but he got nothing, which made him think that Ross was angry.

“But nothing has happened, I mean I told him how I felt but we agreed not to… we didn’t feel it would be right until we talk to you. I’d get it if you weren’t okay with it,” Barry continued to ramble on afraid that he was putting a stop to them patching up their friendship. He probably would have continued to ramble if Ross hadn’t stopped him.

“Barry, Barry, calm down. I don’t have feelings for Matt anymore, I’m not even sure if I really ever did. And anyway, you guys are good for each other, but if you really want it, you have my blessing,” Ross smiled and Barry couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Thanks man,” Barry felt himself calming down and things were starting to feel normal again.

“No problem. So are things, y’know are we okay?” Even though Ross felt like things were going well he was still scared that Barry may just want to cut him out of his life.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

Everything was going to be fine.


	12. Epilogue

Months later things were fine. Barry and Ross’s friendship wasn’t the same as it once was. It was better. They communicated better; Barry told Ross when he didn’t want to do something, and Ross never pushed him towards anything and listened to what Barry had to say. If he was feeling down, or jealous Ross would tell Barry, not that jealousy was really a problem any more.

A few weeks after everything had been sorted and Ross felt that he was ready, he asked Holly on a date. They had been hanging out a lot more, sometimes Ross would help her study and other times he would help her have fun again and worry less. Suzy was thankful for this, everyone was. They missed seeing their friend do anything but study for a subject she knew practically everything about. Barry was happy to see Ross in love and not just infatuated, and surprisingly considering how different they seemed, they actually made a really cute couple.

Matt and Barry were officially together, which wasn’t a surprise to anyone. Ryan sat Barry down and warned him to never hurt Matt or else, he didn’t say what the or else was but Ryan was joking, or at least Barry was pretty sure he was, because he’d hope that Ryan knew by know that Barry would never hurt Matt.

Ross was happy to see Barry and Matt together. Sometimes he would get upset knowing that he kept them apart, but when he brought it up with Barry one day, Barry told him that Ross actually brought them closer.

“If what happened hadn’t happened, I may have not gotten close with Matt, I may have still been jealous of him because you liked him. In a weird way, you’re the reason we’re together.”

While he didn’t take pride in that, Ross felt a little better knowing that. He’d felt a lot happier lately, especially know that Barry was being honest with him.

“I still can’t believe you took art because of me. You could have told me you hated it.” That was another thing that made Ross upset, that Barry wasted time and money on art classes he had no interest in.

“I didn’t hate it, I’m just not good at it. Don’t worry, I mean, I’m doing what I want now.” Barry didn’t see it as a big deal anymore. He could look back on it and laugh. Matt had helped with that.

Ross still felt that he had to make things up to Barry, so he offered to help him learn how to draw since he did like doing it, he just felt he didn’t have the talent. This was something Ross didn’t agree with either, sure Barry wasn’t the greatest artist ever, but he had improved a lot since they were in high school.

While Barry and Ross both felt that things were going to be okay, the first time they truly knew that for sure was their first double date. The four friends spent their time laughing and having fun, and it was like nothing had ever gone wrong because of how right everything felt.

They were right, everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: 
> 
> Fic blog: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shipgrumps-equals-hashtag-boner 
> 
> Art blog: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/red-retro-rose


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